I feel that I should write, considering we've been here about three days now. As much as I'd like to share something eloquent and well thought-out, I'm afraid my lack of proper sleep will prevent such a post. You can thank the friendly neighborhood rooster, who is apparently under the (severely mistaken) impression that I prefer to start each day at 4:30.

Let me first say that I love this country. It is so vibrant, so alive, that I can't help but be excited to just be here. That excitement, however, has unfortunately been only in theory at times; I have been so mentally/emotionally/spiritually exhausted over the end of this school semester (which wrapped up twenty-four hours before my flight left) that interaction has sometimes been overwhelming. While I love people and being social, I also cherish Me Time, something that isn't very plentiful on this trip. It breaks my heart that these beautiful girls have been in want of love and attention for so long that they literally cling to me any time I walk anywhere around the grounds, but it's even harder for me that I can't be what they so desperately desire because I've been so tired; I find myself easily irritated not only by these precious children begging for attention, but with the petty complaints of my fellow travelers. It's just not the type of person I wanted--or want--to be.

These children and their constant one-question quiz, "My name? My name?" are, to me, such a reflection of one of our most basic needs: to be known. Not in any sort of way that implies celebrity or enhanced status, but almost a validation that, yes, I exist, and someone knows else knows it. I think it is one of our base desires, one that is fulfilled in many of our lives by friends and family, regardless of how imperfect. It is both beautiful and heartbreaking that, for these children, a simple handshake and smile can brighten their day.

I woke with the following verse running through my head:
Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew your steadfast spirit within me.
This verse has slowly been changing me, and things are always getting better.

Switching topics: we planned on doing health assessments while we were here, and we've completed those for all the boys. In general, they are healthy, just skinny. We saw some scabies, general owies, one case of ringworm? (How do you have just ONE case of ringworm?) an ear infection, eye infection, asthma, and one kid with some raspy chest sounds that I wanted tested for TB. Other than that, the boys seemed in pretty good physical shape. Some had signs of rough pasts: one boy had a thick, horizontal scar across his throat, and another's arm was glossy, with similar stripes going across his torso and down his leg. (The latter told me later that it was from "current" and pointed at a light switch. Yowza.)

All their physical scars must pale in comparison to their emotional scars--loss, abandonment, abuse, neglect, chronic fear--but in most cases, you can't tell by looking. These kids are so, so happy and loving; they are such a blessing.

There is one in particular who has stolen my heart. His name is Elisha, and he's the cutest little boy on this entire subcontinent. I'll tell you more about him when I'm hopefully not so low on sleep. We'll see if that can happen. (I'm lookin' at you, rooster.)

Sorry this was so disjointed. I'm so tired I keep forgetting what I'm saying as I talk. Oh well.

Love you all!
Jessica